The Christmas period drains credit cards, destroys overdrafts and makes you have to eat bread and stew for a couple of nights after you look at your account balance. January is supposed to be the ‘dry month’, when you prioritise the most important things in your life and concentrate on making yourself a better you.
That being said, many of us can’t resist a good sale at the top of the year, making window shopping seem pretty dangerous. Football teams have a similar compulsion in the month of January, with a desire to make an addition to their rosters be it deemed necessary or not.
This list looks at some of the players that may grab the attention of the spenders, whether they are looking for a cut price deal or something special.
From the bargain bin to the flashy new gift…
Cheick Tioté is the kind of guy that always seems upset about something (I’ll pause whilst you che(i)ck Google Images) and the last few years probably haven’t put a smile on his face.
He has had his car seized by the police and was criticised for video footage of him holding a bottle of champagne while driving, which makes me believe he should get one of his boys to be his designated driver.
Furthermore his football career has taken a downturn. He has gone from being one of the stars for an established Premier League team to making one appearance for Newcastle in the second tier of English football.
With his contract running out in the summer it is definitely time for him to driv…….for him to get someone to drive him into the sunset and end his time on the Tyne.
Either way, the fans will forever remember him for…
Bryson Tiller said he was ‘Sorry, not sorry’; then Beyoncé made sure everyone knew that she wasn’t going to apologise for being who she is; and it seemed that Yaya Touré and his agent would never take back the derogatory comments that they previously put to the Manchester City manager.
But while the singers maintained their stances, Yaya chose to express regret and not soon after he was back in the line-up for City. However, he did himself no favours after being caught drunk driving and using the kind of an excuse that would get an eye roll from any parent. He said he was drinking cola and didn’t know it had brandy in it……….diet cola of course.
It seems unlikely that he will remain in north-east England and there will be many teams in burgeoning football nations that will be more than happy to pay Monsieur Touré a princely sum to do what he does.
Schalke are a team with a rich history of players of African descent. This summer Cameroonian defender Joël Matip moved to the Premier League and his country man Eric Choupo-Moting may be doing something similar.
With his contract running out in the summer, a number of teams will be looking to get him on the cheap. Defenders facing him will want to ensure that they have appropriate ankle support, because he may embarrass you with a simple skill like he did to this Spanish international.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OBvGukY9I4
But he doesn’t just make defenders dance, he’ll give his teammates a few tips too.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BIFwDAjgND9/?hl=en
Olympic football isn’t quite what it used to be for African nations. The 90s babies will have fond memories of Nigeria masterminding wins against South American powerhouses Nigeria and Brazil and of Kanu running away from his teammates (23 seconds in).
Even though the competition has not had as many recent notable moments, when you score four goals in a match – as Etebo did against Japan – you can guarantee that people are going to be searching your name on Google the day after – and are probably going to spell your name wrong.
He moved to Feirense in the Portuguese league, but after some wild and unnecessary comparisons to Paul Pogba, he may be making a new home for himself later this year.
Chelsea is a bit like the rich kid that gets the Jordans and the new phone before you even knew they were coming out. They are on top of the Premier League with one of the best midfields in the world, but they can’t help but be interested in the Ivorian midfielder who has managed to score a number of important goals for Atalanta in Serie A.
Sunderland were set to buy Franck last year but were unable to secure a work permit, and so Kessie must be pretty happy that his agent wasn’t able to find a French relative in his family tree.
The Abidjan-born winger recently decided to avoid all the disappointment associated with being an England International footballer and commit to Les Elephants just in time for the African Cup of Nations.
After underperforming for a number of years in the Premier League, he has found his feet and managed to make a number of defenders lose theirs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pizjZT6vLQk
Even though his big money move to Manchester United didn’t work out, it’s likely that another big side will be making Crystal Palace an offer they can’t refuse sometime soon.